


The Miraculous Tweets of @luckylady and @chatnoir

by Lhappyface



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bad Parent Gabriel Agreste, Bisexual Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Chaotic Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Chatting & Messaging, Chloé Bourgeois Redemption, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Good Chloé Bourgeois, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Hilarity Ensues, Hot Mess Adrien Agreste, Humor, Identity Porn, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-Reveal Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Secret Identity, Social Media, Twitter, i disregard the s3 finale, i give the mlb characters twitter, it gets funnier as it goes on, so many shenanigans, technically post redemption but still
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:20:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28421589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lhappyface/pseuds/Lhappyface
Summary: Chat Noir!! @chatnoirhi everyone!! this is my twitter!!Chat Noir!! @chatnoiranyway today me n my lady went to the Dupain-Cheng bakery and they gave us free sweets??? for protecting the city??? im so happyChat Noir!! @chatnoirHOLY SHIT GUYS THIS IS THE BEST DANISH IVE EVER HAD(Or the one where Chat Noir gets twitter to brag about the Dupain-Cheng bakery, and it escalates from there)
Relationships: Adrien Agreste & Chloé Bourgeois & Alya Césaire & Marinette Dupain-Cheng & Nino Lahiffe, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Chloé Bourgeois, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Original Character(s), Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Everyone, Max Kanté/Lê Chiến Kim
Comments: 158
Kudos: 564





	1. Chapter 1

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

hi everyone!! this is my twitter!! 

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

_@chatnoir_ u finally succumbed to my peer pressure, huh chat

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

_@luckylady_ guilty as charged

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

_@luckylady_ also thats a really nice username u’ve got there. that wouldnt happen to be one of my puns would it

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

_@chatnoir_ hush

**Shawna** _@theyikesmobile_

I just want what they have

  
  
  


**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

anyway today me n my lady went to the Dupain-Cheng bakery and they gave us free tweets??? for protecting the city??? im so happy

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

HOLY SHIT GUYS THIS IS THE BEST DANISH IVE EVER HAD

**Alya, Queen of the Ladyblog** _@CesaireSalad_

_@hadalittlelamb_

**Nino** _@niYES_

_@hadalittlelamb_

**Kim** _@kimbo_

_@hadalittlelamb_

**mari dupain-cheng** _@hadalittlelamb_

(●///▽///●)

**Dupain-Cheng Bakery** _@dcbakery_

_@chatnoir_ Thank You! You May Come Get More Food Anytime! Thank You For Your Protection!

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

_@dcbakery_ i feel so loved??? is this the fatherly affection i crave???

**mikey with a z** _@gaybirds_

_@chatnoir_ i mean mood, but also like. u ok chat?

**just killed god** _@everythingbagel_

_@chatnoir_ ahshgkj he’s funny AND hot?? i never thought i’d say this but im in love with the catboy

  
  
  


**about to murder the president** _@fetusdeletus_

my fav thing ever is the difference between chat noir and ladybug’s twitters. 

**Mariposa** _@barbiemoviebitch_

_@fetusdeletus_ wdym?

**about to murder the president** _@fetusdeletus_

_@barbiemoviebitch_ ok so like ladybug got a twitter to draw attention to social issues (last week she did an awesome thread on police reform and criminal justice reform throughout the world) and also less serious stuff like show off interviews and she’s funny ofc but it’s more of an official twitter

**about to murder the president** _@fetusdeletus_

_@barbiemoviebitch_ on the other hand chat has had twitter for 2 days and managed to b relatable, befriend a bakery, have fun w/ ladybug, and if u look at his liked tweets he liked an entire thread abt why bert and ernie are gay

  
  
  


**mari dupain-cheng** _@hadalittlelamb_

in light of us gaining 50k followers on twitter, i’m taking over as social media manager for _@dcbakery_

**Dupain-Cheng Bakery** _@dcbakery_

_@hadalittlelamb_ Finally! I Do Not Know How To Use This App!

**Lola** _@loladraws_

_@dcbakery_ we know this and we love you

  
  
  


**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

anecdotes from the very glamorous life of chat noir: today i was on patrol and i challenged ladybug to a race and before she could even say anything i batonned away with the intent of getting ahead but i accidentally fell through an open skylight

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

_@chatnoir_ for anyone wondering what happened next i yelled “Chat?” and he yelled back “I BROKE MY BUTT” so it wasnt all too serious

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

_@luckylady_ i was in PAIN why do u HATE ME

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

_@luckylady_ also wdym wasnt too serious my BUTT was BROKEN

  
  
  


**Run by Markov** _@akumawatch_

Akuma Alert! Akuma spotted near Louvre Pyramid. Upon first glance, akuma seems to be able to turn people into cats

**Nicole** _@nicrock_

_@akumawatch_ thank you so much! this acc is so helpful

**Run by Markov** _@akumawatch_

_@nicrock_ You Are Welcome Nicole

**Kayla** _@kayke_

_@akumawatch_ ya! U always get the notices out so quick, it’s like ur a robot or smth lmao

**Run by Markov** _@akumawatch_

_@kayke_ HAHAHAH. That is very funny

  
  
  


**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

thank you to elena for giving me this awesome ladybug themed pin! improved my mood on patrol by 10000000% percent!

_[Image Attached: Selfie of Cat Noir holding up a red pin that reads ‘Original Ladybug Fan’]_

**Elena (Paris Hero Pins on Etsy)** _@parisheropins_

_@chatnoir_ ajshghfk

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

_@chatnoir_ chat, that’s a nice pin, but you can’t even wear that with the suit on

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

_@luckylady_ hm.

  
  
  


**Paris Hero Pics!** _@dailyparisheropics_

New Pic of Chat Noir… with a lanyard? _@chatnoir @luckylady_

_[Image attached: Chat Noir standing on top of a building wearing a black and green lanyard. The ‘Original Ladybug Fan’ pin can be seen pinned proudly onto it]_

**Elena (Paris Hero Pins on Etsy)** _@parisheropins_

_@dailyparisheropics_ askghgfjkgj

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

_@dailyparisheropics_ and _@luckylady_ said it couldn’t be done

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

_@chatnoir @dailyparisheropics_ hm.

  
  
  


Private Message ( _@luckylady_ & _@parisheropins_ )

_@luckylady_ : hi! I was wondering if you take commissions? I saw on your etsy that you have a pin that says #1 Chat Noir Fan, but I was wondering if you would make me one that says Original Chat Noir Fan? If you don’t do commissions, don’t worry about it!

_@parisheropins_ : ahsgkhh LADYBUG HI

_@parisheropins_ : and yes ofc!! I can have it done by tomorrow and i can find u on patrol and give it to u?

_@luckylady:_ awesome! tysm! How much should I pay you?

_@parisheropins:_ you don’t need to pay me!! You do so much for the city and im getting lots of exposure from this :) 

_@luckylady:_ i feel bad making you make a custom pin without paying you!

_@parisheropins:_ hmmmmm can i have an autograph when i come give you the pic? can you mayb sign a different pin? thatll b totally worth it

_@luckylady:_ alright, i still think i should be paying u, but im more than happy to sign smth

  
  
  


**Elena (Paris Hero Pins on Etsy)** _@parisheropins_

Y’ALL

_[Image attached: a girl taking a selfie with Ladybug, both of whom are holding up pins and smiling]_

  
  
  


**Paris Hero Pics** _@dailyparisheropics_

New pic of Ladybug with a new costume addition!

_[Image attached: Ladybug standing in a street wearing a black and red lanyard. A pin that says ‘Original Chat Noir Fan’]_

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

_@dailyparisheropics_ now me n _@luckylady_ match!!

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

also i always knew u were my first fan :) _@luckylady_

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

_@chatnoir_ u looked rlly good with a pin, and i couldn’t have you getting ahead of me, kitty

**Elena (Paris Hero Pins on Etsy)** _@parisheropins_

_@luckylady @chatnoir_ AHSGGHFKJ ME MAKING CHAT NOIR AND LADYBUG FLIRT??? DID I DO THAT

**Chris** _@mrCHRISmas_

_@chatnoir_ u ok man? u made this tweet and havent logged on in a little while

**I Couldve Dropped** _@mycrossaint_

_@chatnoir @mrCHRISmas_ i saw him on patrol today, so it looks like he got one (1) compliment from his crush and had a meltdown

**Chris** _@mrCHRISmas_

_@chatnoir @mycrossaint_ understandable, have a good day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chat noir: whaaaat i have no alternate reasons to want dupain-cheng bakery to succeed i def dont know their daughter dont b silly
> 
> markov after someone talks abt how he might b a robot: *aggressive robot sweating*
> 
> thank you for reading!! dont expect a consistent update schedule lol im mostly just having fun with this


	2. Chapter 2

**Lila** _@lila.rossi_

Friendly reminder that my bday party is coming up! _@chatnoir_ promised to b there, and im super excited for everyone to get to meet him!

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@lila.rossi_ i don’t remember saying i would come to ur party?? What

**Lila** _@lila.rossi_

 _@chatnoir_ ohhhh OFC u aren’t gonna be at the party ;))))

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@lila.rossi_????

  
  
  


Private Message ( _@CesaireSalad_ & _@lila.rossi_ )

 _@CesaireSalad_ : hey girl, saw the tweets (congrats on getting noticed btw) but everyone’s wondering if Chat Noir is actually gonna show?

_@lila.rossi:_ Oh!! Don’t be silly, he told me he would. I’m sure he just can’t advertise it because Hawk Moth might do smth!!

_@CesaireSalad:_ ok ig…

  
  
  


**Run by Markov** _@akumawatch_

Akuma Alert! Akuma spotted in the middle of the city. Upon first glance, akuma seems to have 18 arms.

**Danny** _@phantom_

 _@akumawatch_ she must b rlly good at … doing her hair, huh

  
  
  


**Lila** _@lila.rossi_

Sorry to everyone who showed up to my party expecting Chat, he was busy w/ the akuma and couldn’t come :( 

**Chloe Bourgeois** _@QueenBEEtch_

 _@lila.rossi_ he said he wouldn’t show. Publicly. This is getting PATHETIC

**Kim** _@kimbo_

 _@QueenBEEtch_ Hi Chloe, welcome to twitter!

**mari dupain-cheng** _@hadalittlelamb_

no one is surprised that Chloe’s first tweet is an insult

**Chloe Bourgeois** _@QueenBEEtch_

 _@hadalittlelamb_ some of us have a brand, marinette

**mari dupain-cheng** _@hadalittlelamb_

 _@QueenBEEtch_ at least ur honest

  
  
  
  


**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@dcbakery_ just released a new line of fudge?? is this what true happiness is

**Dupain-Cheng Bakery** _@dcbakery_

 _@chatnoir_ We would love to make you a special pan if you stop by today! 

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@dcbakery_ Actually???

**Dupain-Cheng Bakery** _@dcbakery_

 _@chatnoir_ Actually!!

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@dcbakery_ heck yeah!!! it’s a date!!!

**Chris** _@mrCHRISmas_

 _@chatnoir @dcbakery_ … a date?

  
  
  


**Lola** _@loladraws_

Does anyone wanna tell me y i saw _@chatnoir_ at Dupain-Cheng bakery??? 

**Missy** _@missyyyyy_

 _@loladraws_ what was he like?? SPILL

**Lola** _@loladraws_

 _@missyyyyy_ super nice, actually!! He kept complimenting ppl and when they gave him a bag with his name on it (that presumably held fudge) he looked so excited it was so cute

**houston, we have a homosexual agenda** _@shestheman_

 _@loladraws_ pics!!

**Lola** _@loladraws_

 _@shestheman_ i took TONS lol but here’s my fav!!

_[Image attached: Chat Noir being handed a black bag with green and red ribbons. His face is lit up and the sparkles in his eyes are clearly visible]_

  
  
  


**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

fudge acquired!!!!! tysm _@dcbakery_

_[Image attached: Chat Noir smiling widely and holding up a box of fudge bigger than his head]_

  
  
  


**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

me and _@chatnoir_ are bored and just finished patrol, so send us some questions!

**get in loser, we’re committing homicide** _@blastblasty_

 _@luckylady @chatnoir_ Question for both of you: have there ever been akuma villains that u rlly agreed with/felt bad for/liked?

**Ladybug** _@blastblasty_

 _@blastblasty_ i wouldn’t say i agree with/liked any of them, but i almost always feel bad for them. theyre all just going through negative emotions like everyone else but they’re being exploited by a supervillain. this is a good reminder to everyone that its never ur fault if u get akumatized!!

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@blastblasty_ tbh i liked Glaciator

**get in loser, we’re committing homicide** _@blastblasty_

 _@chatnoir_ bc u got to pretend to b in love w/ ladybug?

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@blastblasty_ ice cream

**get in loser, we’re committing homicide** _@blastblasty_

 _@chatnoir_ valid

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@blastblasty_ also i was not pretending!!! _@luckylady_ my love for u burns steadfast and true

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

 _@chatnoir_ how do i put it out <3

**Not A Furry** _@taylorthetailer_

 _@luckylady_ OUCH

**Steve From Minecraft** _@blockblockblock_

 _@luckylady_ OUCH

**Percy-val** _@SeeWaeedBrayn_

 _@luckylady_ OUCH

**Tyler** _@TheDestroyer_

 _@luckylady_ OUCH

**Jamba Juicer** _@blenditbaybee_

 _@luckylady @chatnoir_ question!! u guys have met a bunch of celebs over the course of ur time superheroing, whos ur fav and least fav?

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

 _@blenditbaybee_ good question! i rlly liked jagged stone and clara nightingale when we met (even tho they got akumatized) and i like adrien agreste’s work! In terms of dislike i havent met anyone but i generally dislike ppl w/ sex crime allegations :)

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@blenditbaybee @luckylady_ well m’lady this is awkward bc my favs are ladybug, jagged stone, clara nightingale and my least fav is prob gabriel agreste

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@luckylady_ does this mean we fight to death now? id hate to have to fight u 

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@luckylady_ also am i not one of ur fav celebs :(((((

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

 _@chatnoir_ ur just my favorite, chat

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

 _@chatnoir_ and don’t b silly, kitty, it wouldn’t b a fight, it would be 3 minutes of me beating u effortlessly <3

**Christ on a Pizza** _@ranchdressing_

 _@chatnoir @luckylady_ i can feel chat noirs blush through my phone

**in ur house at 2am** _@trashpandas_

 _@chatnoir_ & _@luckylady_ flirting during a Q&A? More likely that u would think

**i look like a burnt chicken nugget** _@guyfromvine_

 _@chatnoir_ what did gabriel agreste do to u?? Is there a story there

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@guyfromvine_ yup! Once Upon A Time there was a man named Gabriel Agreste. He was a dick. The End.

**i look like a burnt chicken nugget** _@guyfromvine_

 _@chatnoir_ ASGHFJKJS OK CHAT

**Butterfly Bitch** _@primadonna_

 _@chatnoir @luckylady_ what was it like meeting each other for the 1st time!!

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@primadonna @luckylady_ one could say that we fell for each other immediately ;)

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

 _@primadonna @chatnoir_ i crashed into him, we ended up tangled in my yoyo and i almost revealed my secret identity to him in the span of less than 5 minutes

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@luckylady_ U ALMOST WHAT

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

 _@chatnoir_ no time!! more questions!!

**depression on wheels** _@whatsnewscoobydew_

 _@chatnoir @luckylady_ do u guys hang out not during fighting akumas?

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

 _@whatsnewscoobydew @chatnoir_ we see each other on patrols and news events but nothing else!

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@whatsnewscoobydew @luckylady_ alas, the lady n i only ever see each other to drive away the evils of the world D:

**Patent Pending** _@gregheffleystanacc_

 _@chatnoir @luckylady_ does the fanfic abt u guys ever bother u? I always thought it would b kinda awkward

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

 _@gregheffleystanacc @chatnoir_ not at all! i will admit im not a huge fan of fics that ship me w/ hawkmoth but i think that alot of the fic written is rlly nice! It always makes me blush tho - u guys have such a high opinion of me!

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@gregheffleystanacc @luckylady_ u guys always make me so HOT im not that good looking under this mask. altho ive def spent too many hours reading fanfic abt myself im ngl

**Elijah** _@eliejah_

they read our fic. brb gonna throw myself into the sun

**Holly** _@sephholes_

 _@chatnoir @luckylady_ does chat noir’s flirting ever get uncomfy

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

 _@sephholes @chatnoir_ good question!! if a guy is flirting w/ u alot and u dont want that, its not ok, and u shouldnt b ok with that. But chat pulled me aside pretty early on and asked if i was ok w/ his flirting, and he checks in a lot abt that to make sure im not uncomfortable

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@sephholes @luckylady_ i would never make a lady uncomfortable i am a true gentleman. i even speak french

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

 _@chatnoir_ we are in France?? everyone speaks french??

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@luckylady_ oui oui baguette

**Paris Times** _@paristimesofficial_

 _@chatnoir @luckylady_ Over the course of your superhero careers and your recent voyage into social media, the two of you have become somewhat of icons for the teens of Paris. A survey we took that can be found here says that you inspire them to be confident. Do you have any advice for them about self-confidence?

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

 _@chatnoir @paristimesoffical_ i love this question!! im so glad i can inspire ppl :) and self-consciousness is smth ive always struggled w/. My advice is this: no one is going to magically make ur insecurities go away. Mine didn’t go away even after becoming ladybug. try to remind urself everyday of one thing u like abt urself and one positive quality! 

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@paristimesofficial @luckylady_ To anybody without self-confidence: i think ur badass. if ur nasty brain tries to make u feel insecure tell it to stfu bc chat noir thinks ur fuckin rad and chat noir is always right. kick ass and take names my legion

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

ty for all of the questions!! me n _@chatnoir_ had a great time answering them. getting to connect w/ u guys is the best part of being a superhero. Stay safe, Paris!

  
  
  


**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

was anyone gonna tell me that ‘chat noir thinks ur fuckin rad’ started trending on twitter or was i just supposed to figure that out myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> adrien agreste: i may not have a therapist or a good relationship with my father but i do have a magic catsuit and a twitter acc
> 
> Thank you for reading!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case anyone's wondering, here's who's verified as of now: adrien agreste's official twitter, gabriel agreste's twitter, ladybug, and most news accounts (ex. paris times)

**Stock Market News** _@stocknewsofficial_

Breaking! Gabriel Agreste’s fashion company stock decreases as fans of Chat Noir boycott the brand after the hero displays his distaste for Gabriel on twitter. To learn more click [ here ](https://www.naacp.org/%20).

**Gabriel** _@gabrielfashion_

_@stocknewsofficial_ We here at Gabriel Fashion are currently working to get in contact with Chat Noir to understand more about the situation! Until then, we would like to extend a formal apology to Chat Noir for any offense we may have caused you in the past.

**Adrien Agreste Official** _@A_Agreste_Official_

As a long-time fan of Chat Noir, it deeply saddens me to know that the superhero is not a fan of my father’s works. If only he would be willing to reach out and let our company know what we did wrong. But, alas, I must simply stay saddened

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

_@A_Agreste_Official_ i can say w/ 1000000% percent certainty that this was actually written by a PR team lmaoooo

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

_@A_Agreste_Official_ blink twice if u need help

**Chloe Bourgeois** _@QueenBEEtch_

_@A_Agreste_Official_ as a long-time, dear friend to Adrikins, i can say wholly and truly that he has never talked like this a minute in his life. _@gabrielfashion_ this is embarrassing. if I were in charge (which frankly i probably should be) the first thing i would do is fire the PR team that tweeted this mess.

**Nino** _@niYES_

_@A_Agreste_Official_ ah yes ofc. as a teenage boy i too say But, alas on a daily basis

**Ronald McDonald Stan Acc** _@cheesyleggings_

_@A_Agreste_Official_ THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING IVE EVER READ

**Harold** _@theoriginalcrane_

_@A_Agreste_Official_ everyone knew that Adrien Agreste wouldn’t run his own twitter but this?? all of that money and Gabriel Agreste couldn’t hire a better team to write out fake tweets on behalf of his teenage son???

**exponential baby** _@justdepressionthings_

_@theoriginalcrane_ lmao imagine if Adrien Agreste had like. a secret private twitter acc. that would b so crazy

  
  
  


Private Message ( _@niYES_ & _@Aidan_Arrest_ )

_@niYES:_ dude. when i said make a private twitter u do know the whole point is that ppl dont know its u right

_@Aidan_Arrest:_ ik!! thats why i did this!! i made sure to mention that i wasn’t Adrien Agreste in my name and i used a fake name for my username!!

_@niYES:_ oh god he’s an idiot

_@Aidan_Arrest:_ is that a reference to smth? i’m still working on catching up on that list of ‘iconic movies i need to watch’

_@Aidan_Arrest:_ im abt to watch Legally Blonde!!

  
  
  


**Nino** _@niYES_

Lmaooo look at mari’s notes vs. adrien’s. _@hadalittlelamb @Aidan_Arrest_

_[Image attached: 2 notebooks sitting side by side. One has incredibly neat, color coded notes that make links to the source material multiple times and have insightful notes written in the margins. The other is blank aside from large text scrawled in the middle reading ‘WHAT THE FUCK’]_

**mari dupain-cheng** _@hadalittlelamb_

_@niYES_ adrien’s notes are usually not that bad!! He was just having a bad day 

**Not Adrien Agreste** _@Aidan_Arrest_

_@niYES @hadalittlelamb_ its ok mari everyone knows my notes suck

**Alya, Queen of the Ladyblog** _@CesaireSalad_

_@niYES @Aidan_Arrest @hadalittlelamb_ besides thats not a fair comparison bc marinette’s notes are the only things keeping all of us from failing history

**Kim** _@kimbo_

yeah _@hadalittlelamb_ u and _@minimaMAXima_ are the only reasons i haven’t flunked yet

**Max Kante** _@minimaMAXima_

_@kimbo_ Kim, you should give yourself more credit babe, you’re doing well bc of the effort you put in!

**Kim** _@kimbo_

_@minimaMAXima_ <3 <3 <3 

**Chloe Bourgeois** _@QueenBEEtch_

_@minimaMAXima @kimbo_ ew. Keep it in the DMs, i don’t want to see this

**Lila** _@lila.rossi_

_@QueenBEEtch_ homophobia? REALLY chloe? Cmon that isn’t nice :(

**Chloe Bourgeois** _@QueenBEEtch_

_@lila.rossi_ don’t get it twisted. Im not homophobic, i’m happiness-phobic. I don’t care whether they’re the same sex, i just dont want to see them being all cheerful abt it. ew 

  
  
  


**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

why are there so many angry adrien agreste fans in my comments like i like u guys but what did i do to u i like adrien agreste he’s chill

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

How do i make them leave

**Nino** _@niYES_

_@chatnoir_ try holy water 

**Alix** _@alixieroflife_

_@chatnoir @niYES_ or silver

**adrien fan for life!!** _@adrien.xo.love_

_@chatnoir_ apologize to adripoo!! >:(

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

_@adrien.xo.love_ adriwhatnow

  
  
  


**Maxine** _@numberoneagrestestan_

im honestly rlly sad today bc chat noir has always been one of my idols and he doesn’t like adrien agreste ;-;

**Katie** _@mrsadrienagreste_

_@numberoneagrestestan_ i mean he didn’t say that!! he seems to hate gabriel yeah but he’s not against adrien!! They’re my favs i would hate for them to fight :(((((

**Lacy** _@adrien_lovexoxo_

_@numberoneagrestestan @mrsadrienagreste_ i mean... _@chatnoir_ is kinda rude to the guy on twt

**Cornelia** _@flowersforadrien_

_@adrien_lovexoxo_ i mean the official adrien twitter is obv not run by him, and since its run by gabriel it makes sense that he would hate it

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

_@adrien_lovexoxo_ dw, adriens pretty chill, a very friendly, good-looking guy!

**Maxine** _@numberoneadrienagrestestan_

_@chatnoir_ ….good-looking?????

**Not Adrien Agreste** _@Aidan_Arrest_

_@numberoneadrienagrestestan_ do u disagree

  
  
  


**Stella** _@ladyhamsterchick_

note to all media: when we say opposites attract we dont mean hes mean and shes sweet we mean genius strategist and public figure Ladybug and her lovable dumbass partner, Chat Noir

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

_@ladyhamsterchick_ i am very lovable

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

_@chatnoir_ and dumb xo

  
  
  


**Nino** _@niYES_

concept: a tiny megaphone. we call it a micro-megaphone. give me my nobel prize

**Chloe Bourgeois** _@QueenBEEtch_

_@niYES_ do u accept constructive criticism

**Nino** _@niYES_

_@QueenBEEtch_ no

**Chloe Bourgeois** _@QueenBEEtch_

_@niYES_ verbal abuse it is then

**Chloe Bourgeois** _@QueenBEEtch_

_@niYES_ that was fucking awful

**Not Adrien Agreste** _@Aidan_Arrest_

_@niYES_ we could give them to tiny people!!

**Nino** _@niYES_

_@Aidan_Arrest_ WE'RE THE SMARTEST MEN ALIVE

  
  
  
  


**Chloe Bourgeois** _@QueenBEEtch_

contrary to popular belief i did have feelings once. didn’t like it. turned them off

**Alya, Queen of the Ladyblog** _@CesaireSalad_

_@QueenBEEtch_ share the secrets girl how

**Chloe Bourgeois** _@QueenBEEtch_

_@CesaireSalad_ ok so first u go to settings

  
  
  


**Dupain-Cheng Bakery** _@dcbakery_

in light of our new twitter fame, a lot of u have been requesting merch and we finally did it!! click [ here ](https://blacklivesmatter.com/) to buy some!

**John James** _@explorerman_

_@dcbakery_ how long before _@chatnoir_ buys some lmao

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

_@explorerman_ jokes on u John James, i got it early!!!

_[Image attached: Chat Noir wearing an oversized t-shirt over his suit. It reads ‘Would kill for some scones from the Dupain-Cheng bakery right now’]_

**Clara** _@clairefairy_

_@chatnoir_ urgent question!!! did u have any input in the design

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

_@clairefairy_ i was allowed to make recommendations but they changed at least part of all my ideas :(

**Dupain-Cheng Bakery** _@dcbakery_

_@chatnoir_ we cannot sell merch with expletives, sorry chat

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

_@dcbakery_ i understand but also i maintain the idea that ‘would cut a bitch for some scones from the dupain-cheng bakery’ is a very good slogan

  
  
  


**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

was anyone gonna tell me that chat noir has apparently been banned from 4 different chili’s internationally or was i just supposed to figure that out while playing 2 truths 1 lie with him myself

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

_@luckylady_ im hoping ill b able to make it 5 soon, m’lady ;)

**Ladybug** _@luckylay_

_@chatnoir_ what does the wink mean

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

_@chatnoir_ chat what does the wink mean

  
  
  


**Paris Times** _@paristimesofficial_

New! Chat Noir spotted yelling herding various stray cats armed with paint balloons into a local Chili’s while screaming “ATTACK MY FRIENDS! TAKE OUR JUSTICE BY FORCE!”. For more, click [ here ](https://www.thetrevorproject.org/?campaign=branded&source=bing&medium=cpc)

**Mandy** _@manmantheman_

_@paristimesofficial_ ashgfhk isnt that the chilis run by that one guy who said he would serve nazis but not gay ppl

**Felicity** _@that_gay_strawberry_

_@manmantheman_ IT IS

**looney luna** _@dumbbitch.jpeg_

_@that_gay_strawberry_ chat noir is pro-LGBTQ and anti-Nazi confirmed

**Felicity** _@that_gay_strawberry_

_@dumbbitch.jpeg_ the hero we want AND the hero we need

  
  
  


**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

5 :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the adrien agreste PR team: yeah ofc we know how teenage boys talk, gavin here watched romeo and juliet
> 
> twt user: chat y did u call adrien good looking  
> adrien: *teary* do u feel otherwise
> 
> also sorry if the formatting looks weird to anyone, i write this on my laptop so i have no idea what it looks like on a phone


	4. Chapter 4

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

next time hawkmoth tells me to give him his miraculous i will simply say no. checkmate, evil.

**Marge** _@cantbelieveitsnotmarge_

 _@chatnoir_ u know what u might actually pull that off

  
  
  


**Marge** _@cantbelieveitsnotmarge_

ASHGFKH CALLED IT

_[Video attached: Security camera footage showing Chat Noir staring down an akuma with a playful smile on his face. Ladybug is nowhere to be seen. The akumatized girl smiles and opens her mouth, only for someone else’s voice to come out of it. “Chat Noir,” a man’s voice rings out. “You are alone. Ladybug is not here, and we have you cornered. You have no choice but to give me your miraculous.” Chat Noir’s smile grows even wider as he says, without an ounce of hesitation “No.” The akuma looks taken aback for a moment, giving Ladybug the opening she needs to swoop in and pull off the purse where the butterfly is presumably hiding.]_

**Gina** _@sisterhoodofgines_

 _@cantbelieveitsnotmarge_ HE DID IT WE DIDNT THINK HE COULD BUT HE DID

  
  
  


**Chloe Bourgeois** _@QueenBEEtch_

i exist as living proof that u can care abt human rights AND b a bitch at the same time

  
  
  


**LadyNoir Vids** _@lady_noir_vids_

LadyNoir moment from today’s akuma attack! (vc: alya cesaire)

_[Video attached: Shaky camera footage from the street of Paris. Ladybug and Chat Noir are standing next to each other, the city on fire around them. Ladybug turns to Chat Noir, determination in her eyes. “Chat,” she says. “Distract him.” Chat Noir looks uneasy for a moment at the thought of trying to capture the attention of the akuma before hardening his gaze and nodding. Ladybug smiles. “You got this Chat,” she says with a smile. “You’re the best, smartest partner out there. I trust you.” WIth that, she swings away as Chat blushes.]_

**Ned Leeks** _@nedinthechair_

 _@lady_noir_vids_ thats great but how could u leave this part out, im crying

_[Video attached: Camera footage showing Chat Noir holding up a large French horn. “This is for you, m’lady!” he yells in a battle cry before managing to play the worst rendition of ‘Let It Go’ on the French Horn ever known to man.]_

  
  
  


**Gabriel** _@gabrielfashion_

_[Image attached: Magazine cover photo featuring Gabriel Agreste. The title reads ‘Gabriel Agreste and his position as a pillar of the France fashion community.]_

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@gabrielfashion_ u forgot a content warning dw tho i got u

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@gabrielfashion_ CW// gabr*el agr*ste

**Mary Jane** _@mjwatchson_

 _@chatnoir_ watching Chat Noir aggressively hate on Gabriel Agreste is not what i thought this year would bring but im down

  
  
  


**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

so uhhhh i think i may have just stopped a robbery by simply eating a sandwich

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

does this mean im cool now

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

for anybody wondering i was eating a sandwich as one does during lunch (s/o to _@dcbakery_ for the lunch it was very yummy) and i was sitting and chilling and then i watched a guy start attempting to break into a jewelry store and i didn’t rlly wanna get up so i just. stared at him and made eye-contact the entire time and eventually he just left

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

some ppl say that cataclysm is my greatest weapon. they are wrong. It is weaponizing embarrassment

  
  
  


**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

im bored send questions

**Mr. Ee** _@hotyikes_

 _@chatnoir_ whats ur fav food!!

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@hotyikes_ the blood of my enemies!! and macarons!!

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

@ any criminals out there, will trade amnesty for dupain-cheng bakery macarons

**Dupain-Cheng Bakery** _@dcbakery_

 _@chatnoir_ we can finally violate geneva without repurcussion

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@dcbakery_ wait what now

**Rafael** _@solointherain_

 _@chatnoir_ whos ur LEAST favorite superhero

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@solointherain_ fictionally - iron man, dont trust rich white guys. in real life - theres this asshole named Chat Noir, and i think he’s super overrated

**½ of a scooby snack** _@pushitpullit_

 _@chatnoir_ whos ur favorite superhero!!

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@pushitpullit_ fictionally - spider-man or thor. if u guys cant figure out my fav irl then ur fake fans

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

 _@chatnoir_ hmmmm i wonder who it could b 

**Ladybug** _@luckylady_

 _@chatnoir_ ur my fav too chat

**probably laughing rn** _@dawn_of_adira_

 _@chatnoir_ favorite movie?

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@dawn_of_adira_ hmmmm my patronus is elle woods but i also love thor:ragnarok! Havent see tons of popular movies tho

**Daniell** _@darthvaderbabymomma_

 _@chatnoir_ do u think hawk moth gets girls

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@darthvaderbabymomma_ uhhhh idk let’s see ig rt if u would date Hawkmoth 

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

i have never once in my life been this disappointed in humanity

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

q&a suspended until y’all stop retweeting that tweet

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

i said stop!! stop it!! no more retweeting!!

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

i cannot believe all of u. in all of my nine lives i have never once been this upset. goodbye paris i give up on u

**Marie** _@mariememylove_

so are we all ignoring _@dcbakery_ informing us abt their intent to commit war crimes 

  
  
  


**The Daily Info Horn** _@inforhornofficial_

Chat Noir giving up his superheroism?? Click [here](https://www.change.org/p/andy-beshear-justice-for-breonna-taylor?source_location=petitions_browse) to learn more

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

 _@infohornofficial_ IT WAS A JOKE GUYS PLEASE STOP SENDING ME SAD CAT GIFS MY HEART CANT TAKE IT

  
  
  


**Paris News Official** _@theparisnews_

BREAKING Resident superhero spotted leaving the Agreste mansion, click [here](https://www.change.org/p/president-trump-children-don-t-belong-in-cages?source_location=petitions_browse) for the article

**Hero Times** _@herotimes_

CHAT NOIR SPOTTED LEAVING AGRESTE MANSION Click [here](https://give.lightoflife.org/for/lol?utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Brand&utm_term=light%20of%20life%20rescue%20mission%20pittsburgh%20pennsylvania&utm_content=Top%20Brand%20Exact) for more!!

**Breaking! Paris** _@brkparis_

Chat Noir seen leaving AGRESTE MANSION! Has the true identity of the hero been revealed?

**Lilith** _@vallioflilies_

ok ok ok theres no way that adrien agreste is chat noir right like theres no way

  
  
  


Private Message ( _@CesaireSalad_ & _@Aidan_Arrest)_

 _@CesaireSalad:_ ok so u know what im gonna ask right

_@Aidan_Arrest:_ Im not Chat Noir, if thats what it is

_@CesaireSalad:_ ok so then can u tell me why he was at ur house

 _@CesaireSalad:_ like i cant think of many reasons 

_@CesaireSalad:_ hello?? Adrien its been 10 min

 _@CesaireSalad:_ if u dont wanna tell me anything thats ok i believe u

_@Aidan_Arrest:_ u do??

_@CesaireSalad:_ duh, silly. Ur my friend

_@Aidan_Arrest:_ sorry i didn’t respond, the attention is kinda freaking me out, and i still have to deal w/ my dad

_@CesaireSalad:_ wdym deal with ur dad???

 _@CesaireSalad:_ ok look adrien ive met ur dad and if ur killing him tonight ill help

 _@CesaireSalad:_ i can def get nino to join too, mayb Mari

 _@CesaireSalad:_ if we get mari to join we’ll b unstoppable

_@Aidan_Arrest:_ what? Alya no

 _@Aidan_Arrest:_ I’m not killing my dad, why would you think that

 _@Aidan_Arrest:_ I just kinda have to deal w/ his anger, he’s not a huge Chat Noir fan apparently

 _@Aidan_Arrest:_ and im just kind of overwhelmed :(

_@CesaireSalad:_ …

 _@CesaireSalad:_ gimme a min

_@Aidan_Arrest:_???

  
  
  


**Ladyblog Official** _@ladyblogtwt_

Reasons that forum members have presented that to discredit the theory that Adrien Agreste is Chat Noir: a thread

**Ladyblog Official** _@ladyblogtwt_

 _@ladyblogtwt_ from user Jokes_onyue “theres no way that adrien agreste is chat noir because chat noir has been blatant about not liking Gabriel Agreste and why would adrien say that??”

**Ladyblog Official** _@ladyblogtwt_

 _@ladyblogtwt_ from user MyNameisSkylar “adrien agreste is often referred to as like nice and quiet, like the kind of guy you could bring to meet your parents, and theres no way a guy like chat is adrien agreste”

**Ladyblog Official** _@ladyblogtwt_

 _@ladyblogtwt_ from user InkRanOut “i mean adrien agreste might be chat noir but theres almost def some other explanation. Nothing about adrien agreste even remotely seems like chat noir behavior yk?

**Ladyblog Official** _@ladyblogtwt_

 _@ladyblogtwt_ from user CamembertLover01 “Adrien Agreste can’t be Chat Noir because I’ve met Adrien Agreste and he isn’t nearly as funny as Chat Noir”

**Ladyblog Official** _@ladyblogtwt_

 _@ladyblogtwt_ from user DearMariaCountMeOut “idk man im having a hard time accepting the whole Adrien Agreste as Chat Noir thing because isn’t Adrien Agreste an honors student?? Chat is rlly smart and all but he’s also got like 1 braincell and if anything he’s street smart”

**Ladyblog Official** _@ladyblogtwt_

 _@ladyblogtwt_ as always more things can be found on the Ladyblog forums [here](https://www.change.org/p/ban-gay-conversion-therapy-for-kids)

  
  
  


**Jodie** _@joooodie_

IMAGINE HOW GABRIEL AGRESTE FEELS ABT ALL OF THIS

  
  
  


**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

alright, it’s time for me to stop hiding. at this point, im sure all of you have seen the news about me. If not on Twitter, then on the official Paris News Network (thank you SO much for that btw mayor, rlly appreciated it, def didn’t add to my stress)

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

If you haven’t heard the news, _@ladyblogtwt_ has a great article abt it [here](https://www.change.org/p/justice-for-tony-mcdade) that summarizes everything nicely and objectively with pictures

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

and i naturally have many secrets, so I’m sorry about keeping this one from everyone, especially my fellow heroes (Rena, Carapace, etc.). But I’m finally ready to tell everyone the secret I’ve been keeping for almost a year

**Chat Noir!!** _@chatnoir_

I, Chat Noir, am dating Adrien Agreste.

**mari dupain-cheng** _@hadalittlelamb_

what the FUCK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> adrien: ok there is a reasonable, logical way to explain this  
> plagg, over his shoulder: CHAOS
> 
> props to u if u catch the plagg cameo  
> thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed!!


End file.
